There are moments, as I feel the ropes looping around my body, where I think, “Oh god, what have I gotten myself into?” Then something itches and every bit of me is paying attention to that itch that I cannot do anything about.
It is strange to be totally dependent on Sir for something as simple as kneeling on the floor. However, without arms to lend balance, kneeling can be quite dangerous. I have to trust that he will catch me if I fall.
Trusting someone to hurt but not harm is scary. Trusting someone to look out for you for everything is an even bigger challenge.
But when the ropes are soaked and I am a quivering mess on the floor, it is so beautiful.