I found a stockpile of porn I’d bought on my old e-reader. It is not surprising that most of it is BDSM-related. I started re-reading the stories.
Many of the stories have really terrible narratives around consent. Just terrible.
While fantasy owes nothing to real life, I find that stories with questionable or non-consent to be quite the turn-off. Exploring BDSM in reality has changed how I view it.
The fantasy aspect of being ravaged or swept off my feet was appealing because I did not want to take responsibility for my sexuality. I got caught up in the entirely false idea of the ideal partner just knowing. How naive is that?
It took a huge kick in the ass for me to ask for what I wanted from Sir.
But I did. And I am glad.